


what he couldn't see

by BlueMoonRises



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonRises/pseuds/BlueMoonRises
Summary: He was the Sinner who sought redemption and atonement. She was the Titania who brought justice. He was a fugitive, forever hiding behind a disguise. She was a hero, everyone's ray of hope. He lived in the shadows. She walked the path of light. He was Jellal Fernandez, and She was Erza Scarlet.
Relationships: Jellal Fernandes/Erza Scarlet
Kudos: 11





	what he couldn't see

_He was the Sinner who sought redemption and atonement. She was the Titania who brought justice. He was a fugitive, forever hiding behind a disguise. She was a hero, everybody's ray of hope. He lived in the shadows. She walked the path of light. He was Jellal Fernandez, and She was Erza Scarlet._

* * *

"We'll be together forever, won't we?" The little girl asked shyly, hope shining in her eyes despite being disappointed too many times already. Her ten-year-old companion assured her, the way only a naïve child who had yet to see his innocence completely shatter, "Of course we will."

Watching the stars – _so, so far away_ \- in one of their rare moments of peace before the guards called them back before the harsh reality once again reared its ugly head, the two sat by the shore watching their friends – _family_ \- play in the sea.

"One day Erza, we'll get out of here. I swear to God, we will." Jellal looked forward with determination bright in his eyes – _full of strength, but he was always the strongest one out of them all, and she would follow him to the end of the world if he asked her to_ \- as Sho was drenched by Milliana and Simon laughed with Wally.

Erza turned to face him and smiled, "I believe you."

* * *

"Erza! Come on, hurry up! Master says there's a new kid in the guild." Gray called. Curious, the pre-teen walked down the stairs to find a pink-haired boy standing in the middle of the Guild Hall, with a blue cat flapping around his head.

"Hi, everybody! I'm Natsu Dragneel, the strongest dragon-slayer around, and I'm going to kick all of your asses!" The kid grinned, all razor-sharp teeth. His energy fit the guild perfectly, Erza noted. But it was his eyes that grabbed her, they gleamed with determination, just like someone else she used to know before he changed.

Pulling herself together and shaking off the nostalgia, she walked down the stairs towards him. Flicking her braid back and looking down at him, she smirked, "Erza Scarlet. Now, show me what you've got., new kid." The boy grinned back at her while Gray watched on in amusement and dread.

Five minutes later, Natsu lay defeated on the ground while Erza walked off without a scratch or shedding a drop of sweat. "Better luck next time." She tossed over her shoulders. Behind her, Natsu's eyes gleamed with challenge.

Gray smirked, anyone who could survive Erza and come back for more was worth being rivals with.

* * *

"Jellal, the plans have been set into motion. The tower's construction is coming along well. Soon, the project will reach completion." Sho said to the cloaked figure of his friend and leader sitting in front of him.

Though his face was mostly hidden, a shade of smugness could be seen on his features. "Good job." He seemed to contemplate something for a moment before asking, "You were in Magnolia recently, weren't you? Now then, what news have you brought regarding our _old friend_ , Erza?"

Fists clenching, Sho barely managed to reign his anger in, "The traitor is doing fine. Very good actually. She lives a happy life of luxury and comfort." His anger still as fresh as it was seven years ago and the sting of betrayal still as sharp, he growled, "When will we have our revenge?"

"Soon.", was all he received as an answer. From behind, Sho heard Simon shift a bit. Jellal was different now. More jaded, sharper, and just... different. However, he was their saviour, he was there the night Erza betrayed them. Rage flowed through his veins. Rage…and hurt.

Jellal smiled.

* * *

"Liar! You left us! You abandoned us!" Sho screamed at Erza. How could this be true? Jellal lied to them? Sho had hated Erza for so many years and all this time, she had suffered as much as them? And because of Jellal? She had to be lying, goddammit! Why the hell was Simon taking her side?! Dread filled him, as he started going through the happenings of the last few years with this new piece of information. But the pieces…. fit and formed a horrifying reality.

* * *

Dead. He was dead. Jellal Fernandez was dead. Erza should have been happy that it was over. the Tower had finally been destroyed and they had all survived. (But not all. Simon was _dead_ , too.)

She could lie all she wanted to but, in her heart, she knew the truth. She had loved the boy Jellal used to be, before Zeref corrupted him, before he had changed and left her behind. He was her first love. And no matter what or who she met from now on; he would always hold a special place in her heart.

But then, he had died…. saving her. Just like before, he had gotten hurt protecting her.

Her heart mourned him, the boy with dreams in his eyes and a heart of gold. The boy who had been corrupted beyond belief and the man who had sinned more than the very people he had hated. The man who died to save them all, save her. A part of her will always be his. But Fairy Tail was her family now, and she would move on from this too. Just like she had before.

* * *

Darkness. A flash of red. Gentle eyes. Silence. He could hear people speaking, hear their fervent whispers. Nirvana. He didn't know why or how, but he knew it was dangerous. And that he had to stop it. But…. why?

No matter how hard he tried, all he could remember was a girl with scarlet red hair with tears in her eyes and an image of the same girl grown into a warrior. _'Erza'_ , something in his mind whispered. He couldn't see her face, only her armored back.

But he didn't have time for this, Nirvana needed to be stopped. He ignored his instinct to go search for her and moved towards where he could feel Nirvana.

* * *

"Jellal Fernandez. You are under arrest." Erza couldn't hear anymore. Again, he was being taken away from her. Fate had always been so cruel.

Vaguely, she heard Natsu protest. Gray, Jura-dono, Ichiya-san, Wendy, and Lucy joined in, even Happy. As exhausted as she knew they all were, they were in no position to fight the council. And she couldn't jeopardize the future of Fairy Tail for him. She called for them to stop even as it killed the hope she had felt building within after so long once again.

Jellal seemed to understand. She had told him to atone and he seemed to have taken her words to heart. But before he left, he said something. "Of course. The colour of your hair….", he smiled sadly and looked her in the eye for the first time after the whole arrest ordeal began," Farewell, Erza."

She maintained a strong front till they left and then, she found an empty place knowing no one would follow her and cried her heart out. 'Once again…. I have lost him." Because she knew, this was now the last time. His crimes were too great for it to end in any manner other than execution.

* * *

The cell was small but he didn't care. Jellal knew this was the least of what he deserved for the sins he had committed, but could no longer recall.

The guards mocked him, taunted him, and beat him up. But he gave no response, he just took it all. Erza. Why was she all he remembered? Was she that important? Stupid question. Of course, she was. But why? And why did she look so sad when she looked at him?

He was to be executed tomorrow. Seems he would never remember. But an odd kind of desperation took over and he needed to know. He tried to remember harder than he had ever before and just when he was about to give up, the memories came rushing back.

He remembered it all. The Tower of Heaven. Sho. Milliana. Wally. _Simon._ He felt sick. But nothing…. nothing prepared him for the torment he had caused the one he loved the most. Erza.

Horror and disgust churned inside and he could feel the bile that came rushing up his throat. He was on his hands and knees, gagging and throwing up what felt like his insides. After all, there was almost no food inside him. He could hear the guards outside laughing. They probably thought he had finally lost it and was afraid of his execution tomorrow. They couldn't have been further off.

He had had a lot of time to think of what he could have done to warrant this punishment. Sometimes, he had raged at the injustice of it and almost given in to the urge to break out. After all, he was too powerful to be kept against his will. However, he would remember Erza each time and what she had asked of him. And he would stay.

Sometimes, he had cursed her too. He had thought she was just like the rest and that there were no crimes to be punished for her. Something inside him always brushed off the idea though, the part of him that knew her also knew she was just and fair.

Therefore, nothing had prepared him for…. this. Sickened, he felt that death was too low a price to pay for what he had done.

_'Atone for your sins. Stop being a coward. Dying will solve nothing.'_ Erza's words came back to him.

' _But how?'_ He thought desperately. ' _How to get out of here?'._ He couldn't die. Not yet. Not till he had atoned for his sins. _'No'_ , he thought bitterly, _'I can never possibly be forgiven.'_

Suddenly, there was a crash. Chaos followed. It was someone he thought he would never meet again and should, for all intents and purposes, hate. But he could see the same haunted look in her eyes that he felt and he couldn't blame her completely. After all, she may have influenced him, but Ultear was not the one who was responsible for it all. He was. Those actions were all his, and so were those sins.

So, he grabbed the opportunity she presented. _'For the rest of my life,'_ he vowed, _'I will seek redemption for the rest of my life and carry the weight of my sins.'_

As they – Meredy, Ultear, and Jellal – left the prison, he vowed to never forget.

* * *

They were gone, Ultear told him. The Fairy Tail mages. Grief and pain consumed him. He knew he deserved nothing, not even the chance of ever meeting Erza again. Hadn't he already hurt her enough? But this? Erza was gone, gone forever to a place he could never reach, not even to watch over her from afar.

He threw himself into taking down dark guilds. They formed the Crime Sorciere. Fugitives of law, they did what the Council could not - _did not_ \- do. Six years, he suffered. Six years, he felt dead from the inside. And then he heard they were back.

And now, as she stood in front of him – _her scarlet hair shining in the setting sun, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment, her eyes showing the hurt and pain she tried so hard to hide, dear god she was so beautiful it hurt to even look at her_ – he remembered his promise to himself.

Never again. He will not drag her down to his world where the sun never shone and darkness prevailed. He didn't deserve her. She deserved the world, everything good in it, everything bright. Everything he wasn't. Always had and always will.

So, he lied to her and pushed her away, buried that part of him – _his whole being_ – that screamed at him to stop but he knew better. He was a fugitive, the leader of Crime Sorciere, someone with a wanted order on his back. She was a hero, a warrior, the Titania of Fairy Tail. She brought hope where he brought misery. He couldn't – _wouldn't_ – ruin her life. Not again.

And so, he lied. To her, and to himself. He would be fine. He didn't need her – _liar, his heart screamed_ – and he could live without her – _he had barely managed these last six years_.

Meredy laughed at him but Ultear understood. She always did because they were the same. Fools who had destroyed what was most precious to them. Fools who had no right to take it back once more.

Just like he would love and watch over Erza from afar, Ultear would do the same for Meredy. Even though she was right there. Even though Meredy loved her too, Ultear would forever blame herself for it. For not letting her see the world more, for binding Meredy to herself before she had even had the will to decide.

And so, they lied. After all, what else were liars good for? And they were amongst the best.

* * *

Erza was not a fool. She knew what Jellal was doing. She could even understand why he was doing so. After all, no one knew him better than her. And that's why, even though she wanted to beat it into his head that he was being foolish, she would let him lie. Lie to himself, and her.

But there is one thing she wouldn't do. Her heart was his and that would never change. So, she would wait for the day he could return to her. She wasn't the warrior he thought her to be and neither was he the damned man he believed himself to be. She understood but she wasn't the most patient so she would help him realize this sooner.

She knew it would be a long time before they reached that place. She had already waited for almost a decade; she could wait a little longer.

After all, he was Jellal Fernandez, and she….

She was Erza Scarlet.


End file.
